Grits
In the movie, My Cousin Vinny, there’s a hilarious spot where Joe Pesci, a Yankee, goes into the small-town, southern diner to order breakfast. The clerk tells him that he’ll get grits with his breakfast. “What’s a grit?” he says. Hilarious!
I am a northerner, yes, a Yankee, as a matter of fact, a damn Yankee ’cause I came and stayed. I wasn’t that aware of grits when I came here, but, of course, it didn’t take long before I was introduced to them, and now, I LOVE ‘EM.
In a recent “round the world” e-mail, I saw that “grits are formed deep underground, under intense heat and pressure and it takes over 1,000 years to form a single grit! Most of the grit mines are in South Carolina and are guarded day and night by armed guards…Harvesting the grit is a dangerous occupation and many miners lose their lives each year so that grits can continue to be served morning after morning for breakfast….Yankees have attempted to create synthetic grits–they call it Cream of Wheat, but as far as we can tell, the key ingredients are Elmer’s Glue and shredded styrofoam. Many people feel that grits are made from ground up bits of white corn, but these are obviously lies spread by Communists and terrorists. The most recent research suggests that grits was the mysterious manna God rained down on the Israelites during their time in the Sinai Desert, but critics disagree. They say that there’s no record of biscuits, butter, sale and red eye gravy raining down from the sky, and that God would not punish his people by forcing them to eat grits without these key ingredients.”
What a hoot! It made me think about writing about grits for our northern guests, and giving them the real scoop on what grits are and how to eat them.
Grits are indeed made from corn. According to Wikipedia, grits is a native American corn-based food consisting of coarsely ground corn versus the finer ground corn that is cornmeal. Yellow grits include the whole kernel, while white grits use hulled kernels. Grits are prepared by boiling the kernels into a porridge that is semi-solid.
How do you cook them? For one serving, you boil 1 1/2 cups of water with salt and a little butter OR you can use milk, which makes them creamier. Add 5 T of grits and reduce to a simmer. When the grits have soaked up all of the liquid, the grits are finished.
How do you serve them? There are a couple of ways according to the experts:
-with a generous portion of butter (should turn the grits to a wondrous shade of yellow like a banana or rainslicker yellow) and ALWAYS use salt.
-with red eye gravy (fry some salt cured country ham in a cast iron pan; remove ham when done and fat is rendered, add coffee to the drippings in the pan and simmer for several minutes).
Experts say NEVER eat grits with a spoon–use a fork; the grits should be thick enough so they don’t run through the tines of a fork.
The correct beverage to serve with grits is black coffee and never eat your grits in a bowl because Yankees will think it’s Cream of Wheat.
Got leftovers? Spread them out in the bottom of a dish, cover and put in the refrigerator overnight. Slice into squares and fry until golden brown. You can also dip the slices into beaten egg and fry them. Experts say never to pour syrup over these kinds of grits–it’s unacceptable.
And the 10 Commandments of Grits? Here they are:
Thou shalt not put syrup on grits.
Thou shalt not eat thy grits with a spoon or knife.
Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it grits, for this is blasphemy.
Thou shalt not covet they neighbor’s grits.
Thou shalt use only salt, butter and red-eye gravy as toppings for grits.
Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits.
Thou shalt not put ketchup on grits.
Thou shalt not put margarine on thy grits.
Thou shalt not eat toast with thy grits, only biscuits made from scratch.
Thou shalt eat grits on the Sabbath for this is manna from heaven.
Seriously, grits is a southern food that shouldn’t be missed. They are great with milk, syrup, butter–any way you like, and they are great solidified and then fried with syrup. Yum! Enjoy!
